He's a Porn Addict... Now What?


That’s the title of the book our guest, Joshua Shea, co-wrote with Tony Overbay, LMFT.


I looked forward to speaking with Joshua, because as someone who availed myself of support groups for alcohol recovery, as well as support groups for partners of alcoholics – I got to wondering where the partner of a porn addict goes for support.


If your intimate partner is an alcoholic who spends all his extra time on a bar stool, or they’re a drug addict, scheming, lying and risking jail to get dope; or if, God forbid, he gambles away the house and car, a simple Google search brings up a dozen links leading to hugs and understanding and guidance for you.


But when your intimate partner spends all his time and your money; when he lies and schemes in the service of his addiction to pornography – who you gonna call?


What I appreciated most about Joshua, is he’s not a doctor, coming on here, using a lot of five dollar words to describe filling a gaping hole in the soul with addiction. He’s a regular guy who has been there. A guy who tumbled just about as far down as a guy can go, and who now uses his time to guide, mentor and support, not only addicts trying to get clean from porn – but their partners who due to lies, gaslighting and bone-deep humiliation, may suffer from a malady called “betrayal trauma.”


Our chat with Joshua was informative and enlightening. We learned what constitutes pornography addiction vs. casual or recreational viewing. He even offers an interesting take on whether to block certain websites from the kids. (Not entirely sure I agree with his suggestion, but I’m elderly, so it doesn’t matter what I think about that stuff).


Joshua is doing good work and offering help to people struggling with ‘the addiction nobody will talk about’.